spider_system: Je icon (Je)
 I just blocked 3 blogs on Tumblr due to MD's mental health...And by that I mean, they were bad for him, so I blocked them. I would like to do the same for Jia's instagram account, but..MD will not allow me to. AT ALL. 

I worry about MD a lot. He seems to be going down a dark path. Obsessing over Jia all the time, wishing for BC to be here to hurt him....It's not good. And plus all the breathing issues...I love MD, despite the fact that I'm more with Omega now and he's with Gabe...We're still TOGETHER, ya know? I still LOVE HIM and I always will. I want what's best for him...
spider_system: Je icon (Je)
 Hello everyone. We went to the ER on Tuesday? Yeah! Tuesday! but don't you worry! We just were severely dehydrated! :P That's what we get for not drinking enough water...

So, no pops, all water, some milk or Gatorade occasionally. Mostly water. It sucks, but ya know, it's fine. As long as we live. Our blood pressure was literally at 180/120. (aka NOT GOOD) 

Uh let's see...what else...MD is trying to further himself away from Jia/BC. That's tough for him tho. Jia was literally JUST in Ohio (our home state) yesterday and MD wasn't able to see him. SO THAT'S A PISS. But I think it's good? I don't think MD needs to be around that toxic guy? 

Ah well, anyway! Things are...looking up? rn? Sorta? I mean, we feel like shit sorta, and things really are going downhill for us all, but we're maintaining. And that's the important part!


May. 15th, 2017 05:30 pm
spider_system: Je icon (Je)
 Hello! We haven't updated in a few days. Things are ok as of now. MD has been hooked to GC, who now goes by Gabe because he wants to further himself away from Jia and BC. Which I don't blame him. They suck. 

Uhm, as for like family issues, things seem to be "under control" as of now. So that's good! :D 
spider_system: Je icon (Je)
 Je: Hey all. We still have internet for now. But we don't know for how long. Just know that we love you and everything. Hopefully if it goes away it won't be for long, or if it is...we'll hopefully get some way to talk to yall. 
spider_system: Our usual default "symbol"? (Default)
Je: MD said "yes" to a certain extent! To what question did he say yes to? WHY THE BIG Q OF COURSE. 

That's right, we're gettin murried! As in, in system marriage! YAY. And actually his initial response was "*SPIT TAKE* WHAT?!" but he said yes! I'm a fiancee for now! :D YAYYYYY 

Once we have a ring, which MD says he knows where one is, we'll call it a deal :P 
spider_system: Our usual default "symbol"? (Default)
Je: here's the deal-io. Julian is a prick. We all know this. We are all very aware of this. I want to give MD a chance to talk on this too in this post, so I will, but first i just want to say my shit. And that is...


He's tried to kill MD on multiple occasions, he's beat him up on multiple occasions, there's been physical attacks, verbal attacks, sexual attacks. Like the list goes on. If you can think of it, BC's probs done it. And that's scary. Not just for the simple reason that THAT'S TERRIBLE AND SCARY BECAUSE HE'S LITERALLY NEARLY DEADLY. BUT...

it's scary mostly because MD still loves him. MD has forgiven all these bad things. He does it every time. Julian could literally hit him, turn around and say "Oh I'm sorry do you forgive me?" And MD would say yes, only to have Julian hit him again. IT'S A CYCLE AND I HATE IT. JULIAN IS A TERRIBLE ALTER. 

BC's not currently here. His energy is tho. And that's a bit fucky to begin with. Any part of him being here is bad, because it only means he's here. And if he's here, MD's getting hurt. And if MD's getting hurt, WE HATE IT. 

Look, I don't know if you guys know this or not, but I love MD with all my heart. He's the love of my life, and I love him so much. I hate to see any of this shit happen to him. It's been torture for him, but also for all of us. I hate it. 

OK I'm going to give him a chance to say something. 

MD: I love Je. I love BC. I love Je. I love BC. I love Je...I love BC...I realize that Je is much better for me, that he'd never intentionally hurt me like Julian has. I know they come from the same source...They're both beautiful. But that's all they share. Julian is a horrible person. Je is a perfect sweetheart. 

Why do i still love BC then? I know I'm with Je. I want to be with Je. I love Je so much. I don't want to ruin things with him. (Je's note: You won't. you can't.) I just feel that Julian could love me too...
spider_system: Our usual default "symbol"? (Default)
 Je: hey everyone...So, we havent updated in a few. sorry about that. the body hasn't been that great. MD has been feeling depressed and has been fighting his sister a lot. (Which we're going to talk about that later, but...yeah. Expect a post on that from MD) 

Basically, we've just all been feeling like shit. It's because BC's energy has been around and we're all (minus MD) are like UGH FUCK OFF WITH URSELF. 

So uh, I really don't have much to say except, I'm fucking trying. We're all trying to keep the peace. TBH, MD has been a bit out of character lately, in terms of how he's behaving. I don't know what happened to my loving boy. He's not happy or caring or anything. He just wants BC anymore. And I mean, it hurts. Because...well, how about I make a separate post on that? Maybe MD Will want to comment on it...
spider_system: Our usual default "symbol"? (Default)
 Je: Easter is a special holiday for us. Not for the religious reasons, however. While MD's fam is mostly all Christians and celebrate it for that reason alone, we tend to think of it in a different way. Easter was the first actual holiday I ever celebrated within this system. I remember that, it was a much smaller group at the time when we celebrated, but we each got each other toy bunnies and chocolate and just had a good time, ya know? It wasn't about religion at that moment, because well, we're demons for the most part. It was about healing. 

See, while this was also MY FIRST HOLIDAY IN GENERAL, it was also MD's first bigger holiday without his mom. Easter has evolved in this year to signify MD's, and really, all of our strength. That we can make it thru this shit. 

And now, here we are, a year later, larger in number and stronger than ever. There's something so triumphant about today, it seems. It's only a few months after the anniversary of his mom's death, so it really shows how much we've grown and moved forward since last year's Easter. 

For a lot of us here, it was their first Easter this year. And I made sure that we were all celebrating it right...WITH CANDY. I got every one toy bunnies and chocolate, just like they did for me last year. 
spider_system: Our usual default "symbol"? (Default)
Je: The first few days I've had with Sequel have been great. In some ways, they've been stressful, what with BC showing up and MD almost dying. But, the first day, we bought him a whole new wardrobe, and toys and everything. He's pretty independent for being 5. Like, he seems much more grown up. I don't know, he's still just a little kid tho and he still needs us. 

He sometimes reminds MD of BC. And that's not good. But we have that under control. 

Sequel is a good kid. I love him. He's my sweet potato. 
spider_system: Our usual default "symbol"? (Default)
 Je: hi all!! So we haven't posted on here for a few days. Why? 

Well, I don't really know! We just haven't had much to say? 

Did we tell you all of PM? He's new here. So yeah. 

God, we really don't have much to say...haha
spider_system: Our usual default "symbol"? (Default)
 Je: Hey all. So, we decided that, in the end, we WOULD make ourselves a little channel. We're all SUPER EXCITED! I've posted one video so far, and MD plans on doing one today! So this is going to be a SUPER FUN ADVENTURE. 

Link to the video www.youtube.com/watch  


Mar. 29th, 2017 05:52 pm
spider_system: Our usual default "symbol"? (Default)
Je: So! New...uh...blog? I guess these are! We're on tumblr (same name as here with the hyphen and everything!) but we heard about this from a friend (can we call them a friend? We literally started talking today...) in a group chat, and we just wanted to check it out and see if this is a cool site! So far so good.

Anyway, my name is Xeah, but you can call me Je! I am the second in command here in the Spider System! We're a traumagenic system, meaning we formed thru some form of trauma at one point or another. Despite me being a younger member of the system in terms of how long I've been here (a little over a year), I'm second in command, I guess MD just wanted that.

A little about me...let's see...I love makeup! And dresses, and shoes, omg. But I am a guy. I just have to say that because people usually get confused when they hear that I like that stuff. They're always like "oh so you identify as female?" NOPE I DON'T :P In fact, only ONE of us in the entire system identifies as female, and that's my sister, Margo! (tho my sibling Renne is questioning.)

Hmm, well, alright, that seems to be all I can think of for now! We're looking forward to meeting some other systems and shit like that! :D


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August 2017



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