spider_system: MD icon (MD)
[personal profile] spider_system
 No news yet. My appointment is in about 2 hours now. I've gotten myself as clean as i can without passing out, and i hope I smell good. :P I put on a small dose of perfume, but not too much...

I'm scared. Of a lot. First, I'm scared he'll tell me it's just my weight without doing any sorta testing. Just "You're out of shape. Lose weight, fatty." Type thing. It's happened before and then i ended up with tendinitis and shit soooo. The second thing I'm scared of is that I'll actually have something wrong with me. Like Mom. 

I'm scared of having to potentially use an oxygen machine. And having to use a wheelchair when I go out. And breathing treatments. All that stuff...I'm scared. 

Hopefully this isn't anything too bad. But if it is, I'm going to try to keep a positive attitude. I know that can make or break things. Not to say I'm dying or anything, but when my grandpa found out he only had a year to live from his cancer, he died within 3 weeks...it's like, he had lived with it for a long time before that, but I guess he was just tired of fighting? 

I hope i never have to deal with that kind of stuff, but as I sit here trying to breathe, I wonder how bad my life is gonna get from here...
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