spider_system: MD icon (MD)
[personal profile] spider_system
 Have I talked about this before? Probably. Jia, who has been mentioned in spider-system.dreamwidth.org/1496.html that post, is who I'm mainly speaking of. 

He just like. he hates me. he hates me. he doesn't love me. he doesn't love me so therefor he hates me. He barely knows me which is why he hates me. He doesn't care about me. I talked to him literally like a handful of times and he hates me. HE HATES ME HE WANTS ME DEAD. I've thought of killing myself for him before. I've hurt myself over him a lot. I did today, actually. 

HE FUCKING...HE WANTS ME DEAD. HE DOESNT CARE. I don't understand what I did to have him hate me. He posted on Instagram today and I cut my leg to make it up to him that I'm not good enough for him. It's a pact i made myself partake in, that because i'm not good enough for him, every time he posts on Instagram I have to cut at least 5 times and if it's his face he posts, double it. It was just a pic of a phone case he bought. But he called himself a huge dork and I'm just like "You're more like a fucking IDIOT FOR NOT BEING WITH ME." Tho I guess I get that I'm a bit on the bad side of humanity and I understand why he hates me. 

I feel like i'm going insane over him all over again. I lost friends because of this. Good friends. I hate myself. I don't want to have to deal with this stuff anymore? 

(Also, just a side note, I'm not actively suicidal...I'm safe. When I say "cuts" I mean I barely bleed but it's enough to hurt me.)

Anyway, just fuckin end me right? 

Date: 2017-05-04 01:01 am (UTC)
mirrorofsmoke: The words "We are Groot" and a picture of Baby Groot on an icon with a swirly galaxy background. (Default)
From: [personal profile] mirrorofsmoke
It sounds like he's a jackass. I don't think you've done anything wrong. Some people are just hateful. Or maybe he's being private.

I'm sorry you wound up hurting yourself because of him. I could say that he's not worth it, not worth your blood and your sweat and definitely not worth your pain or your heart, but you don't know us well, and it may not be wanted advice. But NOBODY, and I do mean NOBODY, is worth killing yourself over in my opinion. I actually think you're a pretty cool guy, and really want you to live and stay around.


ETA: Ow. I should've read that other post before I posted. I'm sorry. That is one hell of a bad experience. :( I don't know if I can help, at all, but there's an offer of friendship in here, and a vote of confidence for what it's worth. And sorry if it seems like I was invalidating your feelings. I swear I didn't mean to. :(

Also, what's the term FP mean?
Edited (Edited to fix shit) Date: 2017-05-04 01:06 am (UTC)

Date: 2017-05-04 08:20 pm (UTC)
manglefox: Springtrap from the shoulders up, looking spooky on a black background with dim, greenish lighting. (Springtrap)
From: [personal profile] manglefox
Ah! Thank you for defining that term for me. :)

Also, yeah, BC sounds like a piece of work. Gaaah.

We'll definitely be around if there's ever anything we can do to help.

OH, I have my icon here. I don't have to sign!

Date: 2017-05-04 08:59 pm (UTC)
manglefox: Bonny, preparing to jumpscare the player. Black background (Bonny)
From: [personal profile] manglefox
Shhh. Don't insult the scum that way. Scum at least has a purpose. O:)

LOL Bonny is a smart-ass. :P -Chica

Heeeyy Chicanator! :P



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