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[personal profile] spider_system
(TW TALK ABOUT EATING DISORDERS...obviously)

MD: Whelp. 

I should've seen it coming a long time ago. To be quite fair, I did, but I pushed it aside. Basically, I, the host/the body, have EDNOS. And like, I haven't been given the diagnosis just yet, but they said "please get it checked out. you're in potential danger." 

Uhm, so, i suppose I should tell ya all what Ive been going thru. Uh, I throw up, a lot. Intentionally. That's the biggest one. I sometimes try to starve but, it doesn't work. I've just picked up over-exercising. And like, my body image is horrible. I hate how i look. I hate myself so much. 

This all, like many of my other self-destructive ways, were at their peak when BC was in control last year. It's hard to believe that that's all been a year or so now since it started. BUT ANYWAY, we're not talking about BC right now. 

I uh...I've probably gained more weight than lost in this time. And I hate it. I feel so fat. I hate myself. I don't know what to do. 

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