Apr. 24th, 2017

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 Je: hey everyone...So, we havent updated in a few. sorry about that. the body hasn't been that great. MD has been feeling depressed and has been fighting his sister a lot. (Which we're going to talk about that later, but...yeah. Expect a post on that from MD) 

Basically, we've just all been feeling like shit. It's because BC's energy has been around and we're all (minus MD) are like UGH FUCK OFF WITH URSELF. 

So uh, I really don't have much to say except, I'm fucking trying. We're all trying to keep the peace. TBH, MD has been a bit out of character lately, in terms of how he's behaving. I don't know what happened to my loving boy. He's not happy or caring or anything. He just wants BC anymore. And I mean, it hurts. Because...well, how about I make a separate post on that? Maybe MD Will want to comment on it...
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Je: here's the deal-io. Julian is a prick. We all know this. We are all very aware of this. I want to give MD a chance to talk on this too in this post, so I will, but first i just want to say my shit. And that is...

I hate Julian. I hate BC. BC = Julian. Julian = BC. And I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM WITH A BURNING PASSION. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM FOR ALL OF THE SHIT HE'S DONE TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. 

He's tried to kill MD on multiple occasions, he's beat him up on multiple occasions, there's been physical attacks, verbal attacks, sexual attacks. Like the list goes on. If you can think of it, BC's probs done it. And that's scary. Not just for the simple reason that THAT'S TERRIBLE AND SCARY BECAUSE HE'S LITERALLY NEARLY DEADLY. BUT...

it's scary mostly because MD still loves him. MD has forgiven all these bad things. He does it every time. Julian could literally hit him, turn around and say "Oh I'm sorry do you forgive me?" And MD would say yes, only to have Julian hit him again. IT'S A CYCLE AND I HATE IT. JULIAN IS A TERRIBLE ALTER. 

BC's not currently here. His energy is tho. And that's a bit fucky to begin with. Any part of him being here is bad, because it only means he's here. And if he's here, MD's getting hurt. And if MD's getting hurt, WE HATE IT. 

Look, I don't know if you guys know this or not, but I love MD with all my heart. He's the love of my life, and I love him so much. I hate to see any of this shit happen to him. It's been torture for him, but also for all of us. I hate it. 

OK I'm going to give him a chance to say something. 

MD: I love Je. I love BC. I love Je. I love BC. I love Je...I love BC...I realize that Je is much better for me, that he'd never intentionally hurt me like Julian has. I know they come from the same source...They're both beautiful. But that's all they share. Julian is a horrible person. Je is a perfect sweetheart. 

Why do i still love BC then? I know I'm with Je. I want to be with Je. I love Je so much. I don't want to ruin things with him. (Je's note: You won't. you can't.) I just feel that Julian could love me too...

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